she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize