Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
You're like the curious george of whores
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
