I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
