By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
