My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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