About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
My vagina just clenched in fear
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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