Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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