threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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