what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize