you have to choose: penises or morals?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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