The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
