just come out here and I will go home with you...
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
