It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
