Moan for me like Helen Keller
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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