I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
no, he came in my armpit
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
