You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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