is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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