I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize