how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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