I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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