dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
