By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
