i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
