? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
