I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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