Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
