If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
