Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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