Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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