why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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