girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize