I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
