Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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