Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I can tuck mytits in my pants
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
