I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
