i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
