You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
