Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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