11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
What drink are we having for lunch?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
