this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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