Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
