But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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