No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
