quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
