The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
