What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Your cock deserves a montage
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
