so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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