Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
