So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
