Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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