I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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