Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
