So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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