no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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