ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Randomize
