$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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