just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Randomize
