Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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