Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
