if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
