I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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