It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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