she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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