never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
