i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize