I am in a vortex of obligation.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
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