24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
